What you’ve always wanted to know aka Pearls of wisdom

“Babies are such a nice way to start people” – Don Herrold

Courtesy idontwannagrowup.com

What I’m about to say is extremely important. I want you to take this very seriously. I want you to pay full attention. This is possibly the most valuable advice anyone can give and I’m very sure it is the most precious priceless advice anyone could ever hope to receive. I wish someone had given me these pearls of wisdom a few years back. So keep that in mind and read along.

Ten things to try before having a baby

  1. What is the most important thing in your life right now? What is your passion? Is it your career? Your hobbies? Even sleeping? Start the clock now. Self-impose a restriction on your passion. You are not allowed to do anything related to it for 48 hours. Tough luck if sleeping is your passion!
  2. What is your favorite vice – drinking, smoking, eating breakfast? Or all three? Give them all up for one whole week.
  3. Do you stay home or work outside? Or work from home? Or stay outside? Do the opposite for one whole week.
  4. Are you generally a lunch eating person? Do you have anything to drink with your lunch? Even water? Mix the lunch with your drink and consume. Do this for one whole week.
  5. Do not shower. Do not use deodorants. Do not change clothes. Do not shave. For 72 hours.
  6. Cut your bed in half. Fill up half of the other half with pillows. Sleep in the remaining space. Do this for one whole week.
  7. Set up an alarm that goes off in a Fibonacci series. Wake up, rearrange the pillows and go back to sleep. Do this for one whole week. You don’t remember what a Fibonacci series is? Chances are you already have kid(s), your memory is enough proof of that. So better go sleep. Now!
  8. Have a sick person sneeze or cough on you once every week. Your challenge is to not get sick at least 3 out of 4 times that month.
  9. List at least 5 differences between poop (that’s not yours) & chocolate. And no, smell is not one of the answers. And no again, don’t ask me how you’ll get some poop. Get creative. Beg, borrow or steal.
  10. You care enough to try all these steps, may be you should just go have a baby. May be you were curious? Bored, perhaps? In any case, it looks like you have enough time in your hands. C’mon, you just read my blog! So just go do it.

“Diaper backwards spells repaid. Think about it” – Marshall McLuhan

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