“Moms and reason are like oil and water”
My toddler is not yet capable of putting his thoughts out so lucidly, but I’m sure he wonders something along the same lines whenever I frown or yell at him for doing some mischief.He meddles with lot of things. He loves to experiment: how objects react to pressure, what do they sound like when I bang it on mommy’s head, what happens if I drop a stone on someone in the ground floor (thankfully we are not in the 16th floor. Just 15th), what happens if I pluck the X out of mommy’s keyboard, what happens if I hit mommy who’s staring at me angrily and helplessly for plucking out the X in her keyboard.
You just read a preview of 15 minutes of my toddler’s day. He takes a 1 hr nap and sleeps for about 8 hrs. That makes it 24 minus 9. Which is 900 minutes of meddling. Interspersed with some crying, whining.
Right now there are three things I interact with at a much higher frequency and intensity than with my husband or friends.
THE WATER CAN
The water can is the worst invention of this century. It’s made my life so much harder. The number of hours I spend on cleaning up spilled water is directly proportional to the product of my age and the number of gray hairs in my head. (Yes, it’s a BIG BIG number). Seriously, who needs water in life? Wasn’t there some news about a woman who stopped drinking water and has lived that way for more than a decade? Why can’t I be that woman?
THE BATHROOM TAP
Leaving the bathroom tap open for what seems like hours is his favorite hobby. Given that the overhead tank in our house is ridiculously small (as small as the head that houses my shrinking, fried up brain) major portion of my day is spent switching on the motor and regularly forgetting to switch off. Why the tank was built that way or why there is no automatic timer to switch off the motor is a question I intend not to research because the answer is most likely as obvious as why do people have babies or why do some contraceptives don’t work. Answer: People are stupid.
Banging on glass just to see what happens to it. Wow! I wish I could do that whole day. Wouldn’t it be a great stress reliever? Like kick boxing. Getting all the rage out? But no, I don’t get to break the glass, only clean up after while wondering if it is my brain shattered there instead of glass and yelling at myself. Yes, yelling at Myself not at my toddler because we are new age moms that constantly worry about how kids will be affected for every single thing we do or don’t do. How I wish I could be that mom who spanks her kid and ties him up with a rope for being mischievous! May be God is punishing me for not believing in him!
So coming back to the question, what are moms made of? Moms are made of insane hormones that make them cry when they have or think they have had a bad day with their toddler. Moms are made of shriveling, dried up brains in a head full of grey hair, if even that’s left. Moms are made of so much craziness that they go about having more kids in spite of these everyday struggles.
Thinking about it, I realize, moms are in fact like oil. And reason is like water. See, now I know why I am sort of allergic to the water can (and my husband! Hehe.).
So now, excuse me while I go switch on the motor and sweep off parts of my gooey brain lying on the floor while I worry about tomorrow’s nutritious menu for my toddler (should I just make soup & two vegetables? May be I should toil hard to make some more delicious veggies that my toddler will not even lay eyes on) and discuss having a second baby with my husband.
NOTE: This article was written a while back. I now have a cook and may be because of that my toddler has become a better eater, at least for now. (I know the moment I say that the universe will turn against me and he might turn to his old habits again, but I’m taking a chance). But the rest still remain true for most part.